Process of delivery

My dear lovely wife went through 12 hours of contractions to stimulate induced labour... was excruciating for a hubby to simply sit at her bedside patting her, while watching the person you love writh in pain and agony.

For ladies who've yet to give birth, she said it's like someone putting a grinder into your womb and grinding the sides round and round and round ... at times it comes once every 10 min, at times once/5 min. And it happened the WHOLE NIGHT...

Morning beckons, the gynea came over and checked that her cervix has only dilated to a mere 1 cm, a far cry from the 3cm or more required for natural birth ...

He asked: Siok hoon, i'm telling you that the pain that you go through in natural labor is not even 10% of what you went through last night ...

And Iris's face turned white, and exclaimed :" ok ok ... let's do a caesar ..."
==

The baby is a little small in the womb, just slightly north of 2kg, thus the gynea reckons we gotta take the baby out before the amniotic fluid is depleted, thus stopping the baby's flow of nutrients.

Thus, 37 and 1/2 weeks, Johann was delivered :)

== Delivery room ==

I think i was lucky to be able to sit in the operating theatre for a caesar, for i know for a fact that these operations cannot be viewed by the hubby.

Sitting there on a stool in the large cold room filled with metal and monitors and equipment, i applied what i learnt in Tony Robbins seminars to communicate to my wife through my eyes (i had to wear a surgical mask)

It worked! I was smiling aggressively in the mask to encourage her, and she caught it through my eyes ... and she exclaimed :"why are you smiling?" It worked!

Anyway, she had a half body epidural (a drug injected the lower body to numb all sensations) therefore she was conscious during the whole ops. Epidural makes the mother shiver quite a bit, one that can be mistaken for coldness of the room.

I will post the Operation process in another post, for some of you to Choose whether to read it or not ... for some folks might not be comfortable imagining the process with lots of blood and sewing and body insides, after reading my descriptions.

==

Johann was silent the moment the doc plucked him out, prob i guess due to the operation nature. Looked like a prune... frankly! purple in color, all curled up, just slightly bigger than a person's head, skin is creased, then started wailing when the nurse put him on a platter to spray him with antiseptic to clean him up, under strong warm light.

The nurse carried the baby to iris's head side, and i gotta say ... i savor the moment when i see iris lay eyes on the baby whom she's been carryin' for the past nine months. Look of connection, oxytocin flowing all over her, endolphins creating waves of motherly love and sensations all over ... that look of seeing someone for the first time but kinda knowing him all your life ... geez.

==

My feelings

Given all the challenges that myself and iris experienced for the past 9 months, all done to prepare for the baby, i expected myself to be highly emotional. Sat outside in the operation room really quiet before the op, silently praying for all to be ok and baby to be healthy ... also attempting to compose myself and alleviate the supposed weight of "Fatherhood" off my shoulders ...
Also silently reaussuring myself that Johann's name, meaning Gift for God, is a proclaim that his entry into our lives paves the way to new-ness (dunno if there's such a word), centred and focussed.

Frankly, i had no feeling upon seeing the baby for the first time. Totally no feeling. Some of my friends say i'm brave for witnessing the op, seeing blood etc ... not crying, emotional whatsoever .... it's not even that. I had totally no feeling at all. And it's not even numbness. I just BE. Just was present. It's like Observing an act in motion ... and then ... "oh, this thing happened. Oh ok." u

I reproached myself a bit, in subtle surprise that i had no feeling ... tryin' to force out some feelings for a bit ... he he he. Then i slowly accepted it and focussed on ensuring my wife feels safe and sound. :)

Quite a long post ai? I BROUGHT THE CAM IN TO THE OPS ROOM BUT I DIDN"T TAKE PIX!!!

*duh*damn* i guess i was In the Moment living for the moment .... hehehe.

enjoy these pix ... :)